Friday, June 30, 2006

Fighter

It's official, our little hot headed Chihuhua is truly a fighter. He's absolutely incredible. He went through a couple of days of not wanting to eat solids, but since then, in addition to the tubes my parents feed him, he's been eating again.

On Thursday, my parents brought him to the vet for a follow-up checkup since his diagnosis of lung cancer. After checking the latest x-ray, the vet, to his own surprise, happily announced that the cancer looks like it's in remission. Yes ladies and gents, Bubbles' cancer has not spread. And the lump is shrinking. All the water is gone from his lungs. Though he is tired, and my parent still have to tube feed him three times a day, his little body is fighting this cancer.

I feel like dancing in the street and cheering.

Sunday, June 25, 2006

Not so good news anymore...


Over the past week, I've been checking in with my parents on Bubbles - the news was always that he was getting better and better. Last call on Thursday, he was eating solid foods at dinner time again.

Today, my dad called me. Turns out Bubbles stopped eating solids since Friday night. He just doesn't want to eat it. So, he's been getting several tubes for 3 meals a day again. Just as fast as he gained a pound back, he's lost it again. Deep down, I think we're heading toward the time we'll have to say farewell to our little one.

It's very hard to accept, but I know we have to. It's hard to think about what we're going to do when the time comes, but it seems like it's going to come sooner than later.

The thing is, he has energy and he's not in pain. He's breathing a lot better now, and even though the thyroid is still swollen, it's much smaller than it was when he was first diagnosed. My poor dad is at such a loss. I am too. I told my dad that if Bubbles doesn't eat for a couple more days, then they have to bring him back to the vet. I'm just scared that that may end up being the last visit, you know? I'm still hoping Bubbles will make it to his 15th birthday on July 7th... but if he's starving himself - then of course, we'll have to do what we have to do.

It's not fair that our pets have such shorter lifespans than us - I don't know how people get pet after pet, after pet. I don't know if I'll be able to have another cat after Monte. My heart can't take it.

Please keep Bubbles in your prayers with me.

Monday, June 19, 2006

Happy Day!

Had an early Father's Day dinner with my side of the family on Saturday. Afterwards, we went upstairs to see Bubbles. He was sleeping at first...



But then when he realized that we were there, he was so happy! His tail was wagging almost the whole time, so different from when I saw him on Tuesday when he barely had any strength. He came and snuggled with me right away. Then he went and did his little 'hello' sniffs to everyone in the room - and then snuggled with me the rest of the time we were there. He had so much more energy than before. He's definitely breathing better, and his thyroid is just a small little bump now.

We're thinking that lump they found on his lung is probably benign and has been there for a while. But we don't know for sure - so we're happy for whatever progress he's making.

As of Sunday, mom says he's been following her around - slowly. Most important is that he's able to - and wanting to. He's been eating at least one meal of solid food a day. In the mornings, they still give him tube fulls of the Ensure and his medicine. Day by day, he's getting back to his old self.

Here's a picture of him on Saturday. Sorry the color is so bad. I think I'm going to change it to a black and white picture instead. But here he is, our Bubbles! Up and about. Yea!!!

Saturday, June 17, 2006

A Battlestar Galactica weekend

We borrowed the first season of the new Battlestar Galactica series on DVD from a friend. We started it last night, and I think we're at episode five. It's hard to tell, because I think the first three hours was a mini-series that led into the actual show. IT'S SO GOOD! My friends always talked about it. Correction, they RAVED about it - so finally we just wanted to see what all the fuss was about.

I remember there was the old TV show, but I never watched it - though I can picture some of the characters in my mind. I think I'm mixing them up with Buck Rogers though. Anyway, we're in the middle of the first season, Gaius was accused of blowing up the Defense Systems before the attacks by the Cylons - but it was proven that the video still of him was fake.

We didn't spend all of Saturday indoors though. My hubby and I took a very nice walk around the neighborhood. It's a beautiful day today. The sun is shining and there's a delicious breeze in the air. I got my haircut too - and I love it. My hair was so long that I've just been pony tailing it the past month - but now it's just above my shoulders with a slight flip at the ends. Just the way I like it.

Why am I in a chipper mood right now? Just got off the phone with my mom. Bubbles is eating solid food again! He still gets his tubes in the morning, but last night, he wanted 'real' food. He is carrying his favorite ball around again! No running, but his strength is definitely returning. His thyroid is shrinking more and more each day - there's just a small bump now. His breathing is not labored anymore - so I'm thinking the water in his lungs should be gone now - or getting there. YEA!!! We're going to see him tonight.

Friday, June 16, 2006

Hopeful News

Some very encouraging news about Bubbles. Mom says that he still can't eat solid foods yet, but he's definitely getting his appetite back. Well, sort of. My parents are still feeding him from the syringes, but he's gone from 6 tubes to 15 tubes a meal. And they feed him about 3 times a day. It's amazing how much dedication my parents have put into caring for Bubbles - and it's very heartwarming. Bubbles is a very lucky dog.

He also started playing a little again. He has a game it's you and him, with a treat in the middle, and you pretend to steal his food, and he bounces back and forth trying to keep you away from it. He's not able to eat the treat, but the fact that he's got a little energy to play is fantastic news. The transitional step between the family room and the patio - he's able to go up that step again too!

His thyroid is not as swollen anymore, and his breathing is much less labored than just two days ago. I think my parent plan to take him back to the vet for a check up next week, so I'm keeping my fingers crossed.

I know he's old, and this was definitely a wake-up call to that fact. I know the time will come when we have to say goodbye, but hopefully, it will be a little later in the future than the month the vet told us. He was just guessing anyway. They didn't test if the lump on his lung was benign or malignant, so we just don't know. Either way, we're taking it day by day and appreciating every moment.

Thursday, June 15, 2006

A lighter subject this time...

For my own sanity, I had to take a day and not call to check on Bubbles. I feel bad, but after three days straight of bawling every time I thought about him, I just needed to give myself a little break. I plan to call later today to check in.

So, back to the summer of movies list. Last Saturday, we finally went to see
The DaVinci Code. I LOVE the book. The movie? Not so much. I really enjoyed seeing all the sights that my husband and I visited when we were in Paris and London earlier this year - so that made it really special. But the movie itself, though not bad, skimmed on so many details, and they changed the story a bit too. I don't mind the changes though - they actually made more sense than what was in the book.

I heard they're planning to make a movie on Dan Brown's other book,
Angels and Demons. Another good read. That takes place in Italy. Maybe we'll get to squeeze in a trip before that movie is released? Wishful thinking.

On the DVD front, we saw
Basic. Pretty good movie with a lot of twists. Horrible sound though. For the first time, we had the subtitles on through the entire movie. There was a whole scene near an airplane, and you couldn't hear a word the actors were saying. It was ridiculous. But aside from that, John Travolta was very good. I didn't quite understand the ending though - but overall, it was OK.

We also finally saw
Star Wars III, Revenge of the Sith. I don't know what to say. I was very disappointed. At times, the movie seemed to make a joke of itself. I only liked the ending where it rounded everything off so that it could continue onto the Star Wars we all know and love - the 'original' one that is now known as Episode IV, A New Hope.

Oh, we had also watched Bridget Jones: The Edge of Reason. Even though the critics hated it, I rather enjoyed it, overall. Individual acting, I thought was great. Rene Zellweger is always very good. And Collin Firth - well, you can't go wrong with looking at him. He can just stand there and I'd be fine. But the story itself - lots of misunderstandings, silly jealousy, and relationship woes brought on by the characters themselves. I guess this isn't a great review of a movie I like, huh? Anyway - it was good. DVD rental good. Not $10 movie good.

Wednesday, June 14, 2006

It's late

I have less than 6 hours before I have to get up and start another full day at work. Of course, here I am at the computer, tissues everywhere, sobbing my heart out. I can't think of anything except Bubbles.

What can you do when it's late at night. All the chores of the day are complete - and all that's left is for you to rest in the quiet darkness. Not happening lately.

Here are a couple of pictures I took today. In this first one, he's sleeping so soundly - he didn't know I was there. He looked so fragile and weak. I can't stand it.




See how thin he is? Yes, he's a Chihuahua - but not your usual 5 pound, shivering little thing. He was 14 pounds of pure muscle. He's a big dog. My mom told me he's lost three pounds in the past few weeks. His face is so skinny in this picture.



This is a good head shot of Bubbles. I'm going to print and frame this one. He's still very handsome.



I guess I just want the world to know that there is a dog out there named Bubbles, and he is loved more than he could ever know.

Tuesday, June 13, 2006

Visited Bubbles today

It's just heartbreaking to see my little Chihuahua now. I finished with an appointment early, so I headed over to my parent's place to check on the little fella. He was still sleeping - in a deep sleep. I didn't have the heart to wake him. After a few minutes, he slowly lifted his little head, and looked over at me, and his tail started wagging a little. Not the flip-flop, could blow out a candle fast wagging anymore. It was a slow little wag that ended fairly quickly, but I still saw that he was happy to see me.

He came over and snuggled with me for a while - he was very weak, and I just petted him very gently. I broke down a little, but I was ok. It was good to see him. He seems like such an old, fragile dog now. So different from how he was just a month ago. And he's so thin now. Mom says he lost about 3 pounds so far - within the month. I can see his spine now.

My parents have a ritual with Bubbles now. They put his little muzzle on, and wrap him in a blanket - like my husband and I showed them two weeks ago. They feed him syringe tubes of Ensure, and another concoction of pureed beef and chicken with some vitamins in it. Sounds disgusting - and it didn't look any better, but it nurishes our little one - so that's that. They fed him several tubes of the stuff - along with two pills. One for his tumor and the other for his thyroid.

He was so tired after that, he hid under the dining table for a nap. I said goodbye at that point. I'll see him again on Saturday.

I noticed he was breathing a little more steadily now, so I'm thinking the water in his lungs is drying up - and the thyroid must be getting back to normal. It's still a little quicker than normal, but better than when I saw him last. As for the tumor, I'm hoping beyond hope that it will help shrivel up and go away. I hope and I pray - but I'm ready for harsh reality as well.
Maybe 'ready' is not the right word. I don't know how I feel. I know what I want to happen, and I know what will eventually happen. If not because of the tumor, he is getting old - and he will be gone one day.

Anyone out there reading this, even if you don't know Bubbles, please in your own way, say a little prayer or send a wish to my little one.

I took a lot of pictures of him today - and my dad took some that I want to frame. Just me and Bubbles. I'll post some later.

Sunday, June 11, 2006

My little Bubbles



My latest update on Bubbles is not a good one. In fact, I've been crying all day. My parents brought him to the vet for an ultrasound last Thursday, because the doctor couldn't quite tell what was wrong with him from the x-rays they took. We thought this was ruled out from the x-ray, but it was confirmed this time. Our little Bubbles has cancer. They found a tumor on his lung (they couldn't tell from the ultrasound if it's on or in the lung. He also is having problems with his thyroid, which is enlarged - and he has water in his lungs.

I feel so helpless. Everytime I thought about Bubbles today, I just broke down crying. He's the first real pet I've ever had. We don't know if he'll even make it to his birthday on July 7th. He will be 15.

My parents have been running around trying to get advice from anyone they can - including their own doctors. With approval from the vet, Bubbles is now trying a medication that was recently issued for human cancer patients. It's supposed to block blood flow from 'feeding' the tumor, so that it basically will shrivel up and die. He's also on medication for his thyroid.

I'm praying hard. I know that dogs and cats have a much shorter lifespan than humans - but when the time comes you still don't want to accept it. Bubbles is so much a part of our family. We love him so much, and I know he knows it. And I know he loves us very much too. He's had a good life. I just don't want his to end in any suffering.

I love Bubbles. Sometimes I feel like I abandoned him when I moved to my own apartment. Even more so when we bought our own condo and I moved even further. I don't visit as often as I should. I can't get over the fact that I may lose him soon. Fifteen years is just not enough. And if it is his time, why couldn't he just fall asleep and go peacefully? Why does he have to have cancer? Why does he have to go through this period of suffering?


Sunday, June 04, 2006

Another movie filled weekend

Well, our streak of bad movies didn't end until this afternoon.

We started our weekend with Red Eye. I love Rachel McAdams - but the movie was bad. I mean, they could have done so much with it, but then it just kind of ended. I wasn't satisfied.

Last night, we watched Into the Blue. I didn't like it, but my hubby did. Maybe it was because of Jessica Alba? That's ok, I got to watch Paul Walker. The movie didn't suck - but I'm glad I didn't pay $9.50 to see it. It was predictable. We already knew exactly what would happen before they even started hinting at what would happen.

Today, 13 Going on 30 just happened to be on HBO, so we watched that. I liked it a lot. My hubby did too. Again, it's not one of those must pay to see movies, but I enjoyed it. I like Jennifer Garner.

I can't believe the weekend is over already. These two days are always so short.

I interviewed for a Senior position on my team last Thursday. I haven't thought about it much since then. Don't really want to jinx it. But I'm keeping my fingers crossed.