The Unknown

Well folks, Monte isn't doing too well. He's very tired (sleeping all day), and he's not eating much, so he's losing weight. He had a bad cold a couple weeks ago, and he's better from that already - but that didn't bring his appetite back. His whole routine/behavior has changed.

In checking something else online last week, my hubby read something about checking the cat's gums and tongue. Unfortunately, they were very pale - which means he could be anemic. I guess it's a common occurance for cats with chronic renal failure, which Monte has. When he was diagnosed back in March, he was at the very beginning stages of it. He had to be checked twice to be sure - it was so minimal.

We took him to the vet last week. They thought he may have a urinary tract infection - so he's on anti-biotics. Further tests of his blood leaves a question - and that requires more bloodwork and now an ultrasound and a full body x-ray.

I'm freaking out. Words have been tossed out there about the unknown... blood parasites, he may have had a stroke, cancer...

I know he's not leaving us right away, but the reality is there, and doesn't seem that far away anymore. What am I going to do without my Monte? He's everything to me. I held him in my arms today and made a determined memory of what it felt like. I want to keep every memory of him. How his fur feels, what his purrs sound like when I rest my head on him, that sweet meow of greeting when we walk through the door after work.