Friday, March 30, 2012

Week 30

We've reached week 30.  I can hardly believe it.  Last year at this time, at 29 weeks, we were given the news that our baby girl had congenital heart disease.  I was also going into preterm labor and was in the hospital for a week.  We didn't know if Dylan was going to be born two months early and if we were going to lose her right there and then.  From that point, it became a daily waiting game.

Ultimately, we had to say goodbye to our Dylan after just 25 hours of being born.  Our world crashed down and we've struggled to go back to a normal life.


A few months later, we were blessed with the surprise of being pregnant again.  This time, with a boy.  To be honest, I was crushed, because I wanted my Dylan back so much - I wanted a girl.  And in feeling that, I am so guilty for not loving this boy from start for who he is - not who wasn't able to replace for me.

There is no replacement of Dylan.  I realize that.  And this little boy will be her younger brother.  She will watch over him and protect him as only a big sister can.

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