It's been an emotional journey, and we haven't even reached the end yet. In all ways, this is just the beginning. There have been many, many tears during the last 8 months. Most of them in memory of my little girl.
April 5th would have been Dylan's birthday. Instead of a big one year celebration, my husband and I had a quiet evening thinking back on the year that still seems so surreal to us. We each silently wished our baby girl birthday wishes and felt blessed that we had her for 25 hours.
In celebrating her birthday, we knew that we would mourning our loss the next day. It was a difficult two days to get through. For me, I buried myself in my work and somehow I realized I was able to survive my first year without my daughter.
Today, April 27th, I look forward to the memory of walking down the aisle 11 years tomorrow to marry my best friend. We didn't have the big celebration that I thought we would last year for our 10th anniversary - but you know...
This year, we will start off our day at a baby class to learn how to bathe and diaper our baby one day. Yes, we are clueless parents-to-be, but we're trying! Afterward, we will go back to where we began our journey together and have dinner the Lafayette Park Hotel. Maybe we'll see another couple starting their life together with a wedding in the courtyard. It is April and a Saturday. It will be heartwarming to see that.
We have 5 weeks left to go! Our baby boy is due on June 1st. Are we ready? No. Will we ever be? No. All I know is that we cannot wait to meet the little guy and to give him so much love. Our whole family is very excited and I know when he takes his first breath and lets out his first sounds, I will finally be able to breathe again.