Selfishness is a terrible thing

Unfortunately, the title refers to yours truly. To explain a little...

Next year marks a milestone for my hubby and I. We will have been married for five years, but we'll have been together for 10!

For the past 10 years, we've been planning to celebrate the occasion with a big trip to Europe. The trip of my dreams - Paris and London.

Two years ago, while on vacation on Oahu, we bought a Marriott timeshare. Part of the deal was that because our tower wouldn't be actually finished until the year 2006, we would get a bunch of bonus points, 2 free tickets to anywhere in the world, plus a bonus week to use anywhere. We couldn't believe it when they told us the 'extras'. That was our Europe trip right there. 'Free' plane tickets and hotel for a week.

So, 2006 is around the corner. An old family friend of my husband's suddenly brings up that in March, he is going to Belgrade to visit relatives. My father-in-law's only brother lives there. So, he decided he's going too... My hubby has not seen his uncle in many, many years, so suddenly he wants to go too.

So here's where my selfishness comes into play. Instead of this being OUR big European trip, the one that I've been planning for the past 10 years. The one where I thought we'd decide on when we'd like to go and how long we'll stay for... The trip is now the Belgrade trip - and we fly to Paris and stop by London for a day or two afterwards.

I mean, I can't complain. It all works out to us actually going to Paris and London. I get to go where I've wanted to go for over 30 years of my life. But man - it's just not the same. I've built up this trip for 10 years in my mind. It was supposed to be like our second honeymoon. We were supposed to plan it for US, not someone else's trip to Belgrade. So, because we're now going to be staying in Belgrade for three nights, that cuts into the Paris and London part. The Marriott is still covering our plane tickets - and one week's worth of stay in Paris, but London is now more of a stopover because of our Belgrade transfer. We have to pay for that ourselves.

So, no 1 week in Paris and 1 week in London, like I've been dreaming about. It's more like 5 full days in Paris and 1 full day in London before we have to come home.

Am I being too selfish? I mean really? I've dreamed about this trip for so long - and now everything is being dictated by someone else's plan and unfortunately, our financial situation (that prevents us from making this two separate trips). It's just irking me how everything turned out. I feel like I can't say anything because I don't want to be the wife who won't allow her husband to see his uncle (maybe for the last time? He's 80+), but it's so hard to get excited about this trip.

My husband says we all have to make sacrifices and unfortunately, we're not in a position that finances are not an issue and we can do what we want. And then he told me that his grandfather and his uncle are his favorite relatives. I wasn't able to meet his grandfather, but he wants me to meet his uncle. I want to meet his uncle too, but when he put it to me that way - what the heck could I say?

I know I'm rambling and ranting, but I know that without the Belgrade part, nothing was an issue before. I'm not going to say anything because my hubby was on the phone for hours last night, trying to make a trip that worked so that I would get my time in Paris and London - and I felt guilty that we was doing all that for me (for us). But damnit - this was our trip first!!! We started planning it first!

Wah, wah, wah... Yeah, I can't say anything to my husband, but I'm going to whine about it on my blog. I need an outlet somewhere.