My little Bubbles

My latest update on Bubbles is not a good one. In fact, I've been crying all day. My parents brought him to the vet for an ultrasound last Thursday, because the doctor couldn't quite tell what was wrong with him from the x-rays they took. We thought this was ruled out from the x-ray, but it was confirmed this time. Our little Bubbles has cancer. They found a tumor on his lung (they couldn't tell from the ultrasound if it's on or in the lung. He also is having problems with his thyroid, which is enlarged - and he has water in his lungs.

I feel so helpless. Everytime I thought about Bubbles today, I just broke down crying. He's the first real pet I've ever had. We don't know if he'll even make it to his birthday on July 7th. He will be 15.

My parents have been running around trying to get advice from anyone they can - including their own doctors. With approval from the vet, Bubbles is now trying a medication that was recently issued for human cancer patients. It's supposed to block blood flow from 'feeding' the tumor, so that it basically will shrivel up and die. He's also on medication for his thyroid.

I'm praying hard. I know that dogs and cats have a much shorter lifespan than humans - but when the time comes you still don't want to accept it. Bubbles is so much a part of our family. We love him so much, and I know he knows it. And I know he loves us very much too. He's had a good life. I just don't want his to end in any suffering.

I love Bubbles. Sometimes I feel like I abandoned him when I moved to my own apartment. Even more so when we bought our own condo and I moved even further. I don't visit as often as I should. I can't get over the fact that I may lose him soon. Fifteen years is just not enough. And if it is his time, why couldn't he just fall asleep and go peacefully? Why does he have to have cancer? Why does he have to go through this period of suffering?