It's just heartbreaking to see my little Chihuahua now. I finished with an appointment early, so I headed over to my parent's place to check on the little fella. He was still sleeping - in a deep sleep. I didn't have the heart to wake him. After a few minutes, he slowly lifted his little head, and looked over at me, and his tail started wagging a little. Not the flip-flop, could blow out a candle fast wagging anymore. It was a slow little wag that ended fairly quickly, but I still saw that he was happy to see me.
He came over and snuggled with me for a while - he was very weak, and I just petted him very gently. I broke down a little, but I was ok. It was good to see him. He seems like such an old, fragile dog now. So different from how he was just a month ago. And he's so thin now. Mom says he lost about 3 pounds so far - within the month. I can see his spine now.
My parents have a ritual with Bubbles now. They put his little muzzle on, and wrap him in a blanket - like my husband and I showed them two weeks ago. They feed him syringe tubes of Ensure, and another concoction of pureed beef and chicken with some vitamins in it. Sounds disgusting - and it didn't look any better, but it nurishes our little one - so that's that. They fed him several tubes of the stuff - along with two pills. One for his tumor and the other for his thyroid.
He was so tired after that, he hid under the dining table for a nap. I said goodbye at that point. I'll see him again on Saturday.
I noticed he was breathing a little more steadily now, so I'm thinking the water in his lungs is drying up - and the thyroid must be getting back to normal. It's still a little quicker than normal, but better than when I saw him last. As for the tumor, I'm hoping beyond hope that it will help shrivel up and go away. I hope and I pray - but I'm ready for harsh reality as well.
Maybe 'ready' is not the right word. I don't know how I feel. I know what I want to happen, and I know what will eventually happen. If not because of the tumor, he is getting old - and he will be gone one day.
Anyone out there reading this, even if you don't know Bubbles, please in your own way, say a little prayer or send a wish to my little one.
I took a lot of pictures of him today - and my dad took some that I want to frame. Just me and Bubbles. I'll post some later.
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