Visit

It's been a long and difficult day. Amazingly, with all the bawling attacks I've had today, I'm not dehydrated yet.

All day long, I've been in a funk - for obvious reasons. It's been the longest day of my life. I did the laundry. I surfed the web. I went through boxes of pictures of Bubbles and spent hours scanning them onto the computer so that I could do a private slideshow for myself whenever I wanted.

Anyway - tonight at 12:55am exactly, I was in my bedroom getting ready for bed. Austin Powers was quietly playing in the background on TV, when suddenly I smelled something. It was very strong. At first I didn't know what it was - and then it hit me like a cannon ball. It was the kind of weird dog smell that Bubbles had. I can't describe it, but that's exactly what it was. I called my husband to the bedroom immediately - and even while I was trying to explain it to him, I was smelling it quite clearly - but he didn't smell anything at all. And then in an instant, it was gone.

I looked around the room - nothing I wore today while I was holding Bubbles was in sight or nearby. Plus I had moved from the bed to the door, and then back to the bed - all the while smelling that strong dog smell.

I'm not crazy. This has happened in our family before - with my grandfather.

There's something about 49 days when a spirit comes home - in Chinese folklore. When my grandmother was still living at the house she and grandpa shared, exactly 49 days after he passed away, he smelled him in the bedroom. It was so strong she had to leave the room. She said it was strongest by the bookcase where I had put a Father's Day card that I didn't have a chance to give him before he died. She went back to the room a few minutes later, and the smell was gone.

Throughout the years, both my mom and I have smelled 'grandpa' every so often. Her more often then me, but I have definitely smelled him.

A few weeks before I got married, I was trying to sleep, but this odor was just bugging me. When I realized what it was I was smelling, I was afraid to open my eyes - because I was afraid I would see my grandfather standing there. I'm not crazy - but my grandfather had a very distinctive smell. He had an old hat that he would wear all the time, and any time we went to a department store, he would spray some cologne onto the hat - so it accumulated a very unique smell. I have his old hat, in a box, in the closet. It has not had any fragrance to it in years, but that night I smelled that sweet cologne smell as strong as if someone had sprayed it onto my pillow.

So, tonight, I was sitting on the bed. I had glanced at the newly printed picture of me and Bubbles sitting on my bedstand, when suddenly I smelled him. Maybe the 49 day thing is with humans only? Who knows, but I smelled him. It's like, you don't know what it is, but suddenly it hits you and you know exactly what that familiar smell is. You know in your bones.

I looked it up on the web just now, and apparently, 'smelling' a ghost is not an uncommen phenomenon. So, either Bubbles came back to check on me - or he was saying goodbye. Either way, I just started bawling again. I told Bubbles not to worry about us - we're just heartbroken because we miss him so much. I told him we love him and that we'll see each other again one day. I told him to go play and run. He was my good Bubbles.

It's interesting that my husband didn't smell anything while he was sitting next to me - and I was smelling it full on. And in a flash, it was gone. I don't smell anything anymore.

In a way, it calms me a little to know he came by to see me. I know he's OK.