Open Water

My husband and I finally started to catch up on the stack of movies we've saved since the TV season is in its summer hietus. So far, we've watched Hero together. It's a beautifully filmed movie - and Tony Leung and Maggie Cheung are two of my favorite Chinese actors. Too bad they didn't have an option for Cantonese, so I was stuck reading subtitles too. Some nights, I wanted to catch up on my knitting projects, so my hubby watched some of the movies on his own (Elf, Harold and Kumar go to White Castle, and The Cooler).

Last night, we watched Open Water. If we had watched that in the theater, I would have demanded my money back. It was HORRIBLE!!! Aside from it looking like it was filmed with an average video camera, it was just so full of inconsistencies it was just plain frustrating to watch.

The basic premise... a couple on vacation goes on a scuba expedition with a tour company. There is a mix-up in the headcount at the end of the trip, and the couple gets left behind. How? One of the crew members miscalculates how many guests came back to the boat and it takes off. When the unknowing couple surfaces, I'm assuming much later, the boat is long gone. So, there they are... all alone in the big blue ocean. What to do? What to do? There are the mandatory "I love you" "I hate you" "I'm sorry" moments. Suddenly, in the distance, a boat is coming towards them. They wave their hands, yelling. Cut to: The resort. Their tour boat has docked and the passengers are disembarking. Cut back to:the couple floating along in the water. Uh, what happened to the boat coming directly towards them? We don't know, because they never mention it again. Hello?! This is only about 30 minutes into the movie.

Anyway, after a freakin hour and 15 minutes, I'm sitting there wondering, how do I get that time back for my life?

There are many kinds of films. Those you have to see in the theater. Those that you can wait for the video. Those that end up on HBO or Cinemax. Those that end up as TV movie specials. And finally, those that you just shouldn't bother with. Guess which award this movie gets? Let's put it this way... the DVD was thrown away with the trash last night.

Yes, I'm bitter. I want my hour and 15 minutes back.